WOMAN’S FEAR OF STAYING SINGLE

I got disconcerted when any of my single female friends began throwing at me that damn perusing stare……..and I hate the feeling of my blood gushing at the back of my ears when I heard an envious statement like…………”What do you have that I don’t? How did you find your man with less effort? You’re too hella blessed that your married gurl!”

That oftentimes left me tongue-tied.

And in one of our usual group hang-outs, these were the despairingly sounding questions I heard from my single buddies:

*** Omigosh! I’m turning 30. Do you think I can still see my soul mate?
*** Do I look old?
*** I’m patiently waiting for someone to come along. But I’m getting tired now.
*** I’ve been dating with a lot of men but, I found no spark in any of those dull dates.
*** I think I’m not really that attractive to men. Am I?
*** Please help me find a man………..I wanna get married……….i wanna have a baby!
*** Can you set up a date for me?
*** I bet, the first one to come along is the one I’ll marry.

Those were just some of the most desperate expressions that incited my empathy………

Single women are scared of not finding someone or worse, of not having anyone out there for them.

Single women wallow in fear of staying single for the rest of their lives. Perhaps it stems from their common perception that singleness is tantamount to dullness, loneliness, cold bed, gloom, unhappiness, incompleteness, lack of fulfillment and misery.

Singleness is a fodder. People around can’t help asking single women a handful of why’s and when’s. “Why still single?” And “When is the wedding day.” These questions remind the single women of what they don’t have……..and seemingly load them with more burden and pressure. It is not easy for them to hear a comment like “You must get married before 35…….your parents are happier with their retirement when they see their pretty grandkids”.

When alone, single women is haunted by pity. “Is there something wrong with me? Why haven’t I found a man to grow old with?” It’s hard to wait for a hidden soul mate in an uncertain future.

Most of them are reluctant to appear in high school reunions. Seeing their high school batch mates already coupled is too much of a torture.

But despite all these stirring events, single women manage to cover up with a mask of self-sufficiency and composure………………with a carefree life of glamour and adventure. They defensively say that they are happy with their single life. But deep inside, they are hopelessly struggling in their spousal search. They are tacitly soaking in the cybernet chatting overnight with deep longing on finding someone. They too are excited to party Friday and Saturday nights out with friends hoping to bump into Mr. Right. They keep on collecting email pals, contacts and friends in every web socializing network . They are willing to spend for random texting with the positive thoughts of building something special with someone. They even earnestly beg for setting them up for a date. ………………………….only to end up realizing that no relationship has clicked.

Brittleness, insecurities and pity balloon out into a surprisingly large proportion within them. …………..and they start calling themselves as “Poor Single Ladies”.

Human beings have innate desire for intimacy and companionship. Women of course have it plus their longing to bear a child (essence of a woman). That more likely puts them in a hurry to get married.

But what if no one will come???????

How can a single woman deal with it?

What if she is destined for singleness?

Will she still hold on to her fear of misery?

Will she not let go of loneliness?

Dying with fear, misery and loneliness in singleness is unreasonable……..a huge stupidity.

Single women out there must wake up to the reality that there is nothing wrong with being single.

What you do with your singleness matters a lot.

There are worse things than being single. So, why hate it? Why afraid of it?

Why not do something special in being single instead? Why not make singleness an avenue of service and fulfillment?

Start seeing singleness in a different light………..

Single means ample opportunities to be with yourself, to be with people and to be with God……………… It means enormous freedom as well.

Singleness is very special…………………
Singleness is not a curse……………it is indeed a blessing …………….and making the most and the best out of it makes you a blessing to others…………………….